Some clarification is in order!
First, it was the bosses at The Massachusetts Restaurant Association’s idea to hold a board meeting in Puerto Rico last week. I _ust had to attend. These are the sacrifices I make in the name of progress and education.
First thing I learned (A-gain!) on this important trip (_unket?) was that Massachusetts is _ust plain whacked. We were early for the flight, which didn’t leave until 7 (AM), so we wanted a Bloody Mary to kick the week off right. NOPE. In Massachusetts it is illegal to en_oy a cocktail before 10AM on a Sunday morning. Whose in charge anyway in Massachusetts? Some wicked, 150 year old puritanical nun? “No no no…you can’t have that cocktail at 7AM mister. At 10AM you will be less likely to skip church because you are drunk. Now, sit in the corner sinner”
Next clarification, _ust in case you haven’t yet figured it out, the letter between “I” and “K” on my keyboard stopped working.
And another thing…seeing as my romantic notion of getting married on Valentine’s Day 25 years ago forgot to consider my possible success in the restaurant business, so therefore we would never, ever, actually celebrate our anniversary on the date of our anniversary, Kathy agreed to _oin the meeting in Puerto Rico, before and after, at poolside…beachside…bar side.(except at the airport, in _ASSachusetts. (haha…you caught me. The “M” actually works)
We celebrated our 25th a couple of weeks early. After the meetings, of course.
And how about this. When in Puerto Rico, you get off the plane and use the bathroom, the flushers are foot pedals. Yup (duh!), no need to worry about hand sanitation, _ust use your shoe. But in Massachusetts, we spend $250,000 to make the parking garage elevators sound like the _ungle, with tropical birds sounds. What idiots. Seriously. It’s a garage. How about investing some money on better signage and a system that tells us where we can find a parking spot. Like Baltimore figured out. Of course, Baltimore’s airport doesn’t sound like a (creepy) rain forest.
Something else awesome about Puerto Rico. They have a real rain forest. And real bird noises. And an ocean you can swim in more than 2 months a year. Actually, two oceans. We did. That’s hot.
Oh, and in Puerto Rico, the cross walks are actually raised up to the level of the curb, so, no ramp necessary, or stepping on or off a curb. And cars have to slow down cuz the cross walks double as big speed bumps. Love that shit.
The Mofongo in Purto Rico was good. But wasn’t any better than moonstones was, despite what our (former) Puerto Rican employee used to say.
Don Q rum…excellent. Can’t get it on the mainland. Makes an amazing Mo_ito! Almost worth having another meeting. _ust sayin.
Maybe next blog I will fill you in on the meeting details. Or not.
Maybe I’ll tell you about the research we did, “in the field”. Like the unbelievable dinner we had at _ean Georges newest restaurant “Fern”, located at The St Regis Hotel ($850/night…yikes!!)in the middle of an almost-rain forest, but right on the ocean. Sick.
(I think maybe they were a bit disturbed that our cabbie had a squeaky car with no shocks! It was that kind of place. Unfortunately, the Board did not furnish limos. With what the cabbie charged, I should have sprung for a limo. Ay caramba!)
Adios, para ahora!
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