My wife Kathy says I should be more lighthearted in my posts. (she’s right, of course) I should talk less about the CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT against YELP, (see below) or about those doing the yelping, like “That Guy”, who complained that moonstones ice cream was cold. (see page 2…over 2,000 hits now on the “That Guy” story!!)
Do you want lighthearted…How’s this…
1. Kathy and I went to dinner after a “light hearted” meeting with our financial advisor, who told us all kinds of “happy”, encouraging news!! We were so giddy, we celebrated at Evenfall Restaurant in Haverhill. (very nice spot, great food) While there, we could hear two elderly ladies chatting across the room. Why could we hear them? Well, because older folks sometimes shout when they think they are talking, so they can hear themselves. (think Granma on the cell phone) We smiled. Then, a while later, out of the corner of my eye, it was evident that they had lit the fireplace at Evenfall. Except for one thing….there is NO fireplace! Apparently one of the ladies had opened up the newspaper flyer page, to find the coupon for dinner, and spread the page over the candle! Funny right? As I walked across the room, towards the growing flames, as she fanned the paper thinking that would help things, I couldn’t help but smile while stomping.
2. Lighthearted some more; “Vinny”, also known by his real name Vinayak, is an Indian waiter at moonstones. A beloved, sweet, excellent employee. Vinayhak was born in India. He has a very heavy accent. You know the one; almost singing… “I um Vinay-hak n wheel be yer way-ter this night” The happy, amused customer looks at Vinayhak and says; “Boy, they take this whole Global thing seriously, huh? Where are you from?” Deadpanned, with a slight, nervous smile, Vinayhak replied; “Nush-ew-wa, sir. ”
It took a moment for the guest to process… Nashua. NH. (I had to bite my lip.)
3. Lighthearted #3…Overheard at this Sunday’s 8th Annual Wine and Dine Dinner to benefit the UMASS Lowell Scholarship fund, from the lips of the Chef’s, those that are noteworthy, and printable;
“Don’t get me started on Vegans. Why would you even go out to eat? They don’t like food”
“Honestly. What’s better than peanut butter?”
“Whaddya mean Brazilians don’t have allergies?”
“Spain. Greece. Same thing.”
“Olive oil, sea salt, get out of my way”
“If I could make it that good myself I would do it”
“I know I said we needed another minute a minute a go but if you keep asking I’ll need
another minute after this minute”
“I wish this whole molecular bullshit trend would pass. Does it make the food better? No.”
“So, he made this ridiculously good olive-foam-pillow thing and wanted to pair it with everything”
“Anna’s hair is down. She must be single again”
“Colicchio’s a tool”
“Can you imagine drug testing in the restaurant business?
A lot more people would be cooking at home”
“It’s amazing that people actually eat at the Cheescake Factory”
“Beets taste like dirt. Really, really good dirt”
And later, at the bar…
“If it’s not tequila, I don’t drink it. Gimme whatever”
“Wooly Pigs rule”
“OK, but just one”
“It’s a Pirate’s life. We’re all Pirate’s”
“He’s doing awesome, but hasn’t earned his eye patch yet”
“Where did my hot wife go?…Home? …Really?”
“Coordinating specialist? C’mon Really? How’d you get that title?”
And my favorite of the evening, all in fun of course….
“The word Vegetarian translates to lousy hunter”
SPlath
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