What’s with mayonnaise as an after thought? Are people scared to ask for the side of mayo at the time of ordering? Are they hoping their friends won’t notice, by waiting?
Because people are definately not afraid to ask for sauce on the side. Or light dressing. Or no croutons. Or extra bread. People ask that the mashed potato not be touching the meat. Or that no lettuce be put on the bun. (Because it’s so tough to set the lettuce aside)
“Lightly toasted”
“Extra pickles”
“No onions”
“No peppers”
“Separate the onions and peppers”
May we have more butter. Extra cheese. Bacon has to be crispy. Water, no ice, two cubes, tall glass, no glass, extra extra dry, shaken not stirred, is it organic, is there cream, the menu didn’t say tomato, extra rare, burn it, cut in half, cut in quarters, no crust, make it strong, no sour cream, extra sour cream, sour cream on the side, is it light sour cream?
Is the salmon farm raised? Is the Sea Bass sustainable? Is it organic, are the mussels rope grown, Is the prime rib really prime, is the chicken cage free, I’ll keep my silverware and save water, is that gluten free, is the butter salted, do you have splenda, is that slave free chocolate, do you have skim milk?
But when it comes to mayonnaise, people go silent. Almost phobic. It is simply amazing how many people say, AFTER they receive their sandwich… “Oh, may I have some mayonnaise”. Usually mumbled. I often wonder if, when ordering a Cheeseburger, with bacon and fries, folks think that by asking for the mayonnaise afterwards, it possesses less calories. That’s my theory.
Mayonnaise People!! Listen up. You know who you are. YOU KNOW you want mayonnaise when you order. Don’t kid yourself into thinking you might skip it this time. You won’t. You are a mayonnaise junkie, so do us a favor. Place your order, and mention the mayo. We won’t judge. We’d appreciate not having to go all the way back to the kitchen because you are living in denial!! It’s ok. You’re ok. You are not alone. I’m just sayin’.
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