GLASS HALF EMPTY

Puerto Rico is hot. No seriously. Like the sun is blazing.

I am here for a DIRECTOR’S meeting. No, seriously, I’m not lying. Each year, the MRA holds their 1st meeting of the year in PR, and this is my 2nd one in a row.
Of course, flying all the way down here, for less than $200 on JetBlue BTW, I figure, stay for a couple of extra days, make some friends, research some food and beverage, try and discover “good” service, write a blog…write it off…

While here, I also get a great opportunity to meet, and learn from, some GREAT industry leaders; The owners of the Turner Fisheries (The Turners–NOT related to Ike and Tina), The Aquitane Group, Legendary Group, The Briar Restaurant Group, Manny Costa from Costa Fruit and Produce and so many others!

Aside from the learning that Manny wears pajamas, I learned from Jim Turner that Oysters, like bears, “fatten up” for the winter. When the water gets cold, they go dormant (aka Hibernate) and so, the best time to get plump, full bellied oysters is, well, right about now! Winter. Frigid waters.

What else did I learn, you may ask? OK. Well, though they open every single door for you at The El San Juan (our hotel), almost no one in P.R. EVER clears a dirty dish. So foreign a concept in the local hospitality that, in a humorous example, the at the pool bar, the bartender kept cursing, and shoo-ing away the birds that were landing on the plates full of crumbs, left behind by departed guests–yet it never occurred to him that simply clearing away the dirty plate would solve the problem and eliminate the birds. Ay caramba!

And, unlike in my own restaurants, where, against what is “natural”, we teach our staff to see a half a glass of water as “half empty” (FILL IT!), yet, in the Port of Rico, they wait until it is fully-empty. Completely. And the ice is melted. And the sun has evaporated any remaining moisture. And, you flag someone down, by waving your arms aggressively, while making the universal chocking sign for “I am in the desert and I am dying of thirst. Help me. Help me.”

In general, the service standard in the Caribbean’ish islands is a little different. I am still trying to decide if it is them; Slow, easygoing, relaxed or unattentive and overly casual… or us; Impatient, demanding, too stressed out. (I say “us” because although I find myself often wishing my glass was filled and my table was cleared, I try and go with the “Island thing” (“Relax ‘mon”) Yet, some “others” bitch, complain, and do that whole, annoying;

“Um. Excuse me Sen-your-ah. Can I puh-leez get some extra sweet and low por fay-ver” (Did that sound as intended…Alabama-obnoxious?)

Some more things learned while in Puerto Rico?

~Damn they can dance.
~Age doesn’t much matter when it comes to high heels and short skirts. (Much like Staten Island)
~They pour BIG drinks and overportion guacamole. (A good thing if the “food cost” is not YOUR responsibility!)
~There is too much barbed wire when you stray from the resorts.
~We are not the only ones constantly having trouble finding excellent, well trained restaurant staff.
~The ocean is unbelievably gorgeous.
~Mofongo never tastes the same.
~MA. Department of labor doesn’t care if their rules actually make any sense.(This was overheard by co-restaurant owner meeting attendees
~They don’t hold “de caf” drinkers in high regard here. (I am actually ok with that!)
~Puerto Ricans pay the same in SS benefits, but receive less than we do.
~The 99’s is squeezing vendors for unreasonable pricing, now that it is corporate owned.
~Icelandic Haddock is caught with long lines, thereby offering a much better chance of “fresh”, than netted, dead fish.
~I am not the only one who has been told by an employee “Pay me more and THEN I will show you how good I am” (Ay caramba!) 
~Local fisherman (Massachusetts, local) are in serious danger of losing fishing “rights” to large, multi national corporations
(More on that later)
~Giant fans like wearing their team caps poolside even more than Patriot fans. (That is kind of shocking)
~The Palm steakhouse, just maybe, served the best steak I ever had. (Better be amazing at that price!)
~SPF 30 barely does the trick

And…It is amazing how much faster meetings move along, when the hotel board room is only a few steps from the beach, bar and blazing sun!

Adios amigos, para ahora!