GENTLEMAN JIM

Written by  ,     May 15, 2012     Posted in Fun, The Lighter Side

My father in law is the man.  Ask anyone.  A man’s man, by any definition—tough, stout, funny, charming, kind and caring.  And an old school gentleman.

 If you have ever read the popular blog (now book?) “The shit my father says”, albeit funny, in the world of quotable, it is the exact opposite of what I would write about “Big Jim.”  Something more like “The ap-cray my father-in-law shares.”  Some of these classics leave you flabbergasted–shaking your head, and often looking for some furher clarity.  He has one gem after another; When he is not quoting Kipling or Frost or Wadsworth. 

 Here are a few from only one week of vacation.. Enjoy.

“That guy was a horses molly”  (code for, well, arse)  Followed by;
“Had he said anything more, we would have been at loggerheads”

“She’s a hot sketch” which is quite different than:
“She looked like the wreck of the Hesparus”

“I hate the buggers”  (actually a compliment, referencing an atttactive woman, and then
from the side of his mouth, just above a whisper..)
“Perhaps an older man?”

On toast…
“He’s a casper milk toast”
“It’ as warm as toast”

“I took a Dixie” and “I almost bought the farm that time”

“Be right back fellas.  I’m going to shed a tear”
(Which is not wholly different, but much more specific than)
“I’m going to see a man about a horse”

(To my mother-in-law, who provides quiet oversight and conscience…)
“Well, It’s not better for me if I do not like it”

And while telling a story…
“The Spanish Armada’s boat sank and they infiltrated Ireland.”  Followed by:
“That must be why I like the Flamenco”

And a few more…

“They were all full of donkey dust”

“He got out of there like a raped ape”

“The best relationship between boss and employee is when one man never mentions it, and the other never forgets it”

“That would be enough to frost your garters”

“For cripes sake”

Comments

One Response

  1. I don’t think the title of your article matches the content lol. Just kidding, mainly because I had some doubts after reading the article.

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