OK..enough with the nice guy stuff! (Of course, if you prefer “happy, shiny” to “angry and jaded”, please skip past this post and read about the amazing work and generosity by my peers from The Massachusetts Restaurant Association, on behalf of the amazing folks at The Greater Lowell Boys and Girls Club!
Otherwise…
Here’s today’s punchline: “I don’t want to be a pest”
For those followers of this blog, you know I am no big fan of Yelp. For anyone in the business, NO ONE is actually a fan of Yelp. Except it seems, for Yelpers–those that write reviews for businesses that they have frequented. I get the whole thing. The online “community”, sharing perspective, and so on. The f’d up thing, though, is that Yelp seeks advertising dollars from those they allow to get pounded, often by the angry–the ignored–the frustrated–the bored. Oh, and the idiots too. Oh, and ex employees. Oh, and competitors. But that’s not what this post is about.
Yelp was (unsuccessfully) sued for extortion. (That doesn’t mean that they didn’t do it by the way!) See… many, many business owners have received advertising solicitations from Yelp, and have said “no”, and then they swear more negative reviews show, slamming their businesses. (I believe it to be true, for the record) But that’s not what this post is about.
The funny thing is, even though Yelp may be successful, and the owner a bazillionaire, they actually just don’t get it, and it is so simple. There is no need for extortion. Hell, if they figured this shit out, I would probably advertise with them. It’s this simple: Don’t post 1 star reviews, unless they represent a substantial percentage of the reviews received. Certainly there are businesses that suck. But, most good businesses, who receive a high number of 4 star or 3 star reviews–including BOTH praise and critique–would be cool with that. But when an owner sees a bogus, mean-spirited, meant to hurt you review online–posted by…Yelp…There is no way on God’s green earth that they/we are going to give Yelp ad money. Nor, to have it removed. BUT…that’s not what this post is about!
Here’s the joke. Kyle, from Yelp, has emailed me twice, and now left 4, maybe even 5 messages on my personal cell phone voice mail–which he lied and said that he received from one of my employees who would NEVER risk giving out my cell number–asking me to advertise with Yelp. The 1st call was nice, despite the lie. The 2nd call was more… “I am surprised you have not called me back”. The 3rd call was “Apparently you don’t need any more business”. The 4th call was along the lines of “Ya know asshole, Yelp does alot for your business already…” (Maybe I paraphrased).
And the last call… “I don’t want to be a pest…but…” Really Kyle? You didn’t get the hint after I didn’t return your THIRD phone call. I’m not saying Kyle is either a bully, or an idiot. I’m just sayin’
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