A DUCK ON THE GOLF COURSE

Written by  ,     June 24, 2013     Posted in Fun, The Lighter Side

Over 30 years ago, three friends and I took an illegal short cut to one’s house, cutting through a local golf course in the snow, after hopping a fence and teasing each other about the owner’s gun, and even worse if you were one of us–the German Shepard that roamed the property.

After a while, one friend–Dave Fields, happened to look back and note–to the amusement of the other’s and the curiosity that was mine–how all of THEIR footprints lined up–heel/toe, heel/toe, straight–yet MY foot prints twisted outward–almost 45 degrees–duck-like.  It is something that I had never noticed before, and despite their great laughter, never thought of again until three years ago.

After months of nagging back pain, and groin pain, and groin-down-the-leg-into-the-knee pain, I finally received the tell tale x-ray of hips that were ever so slightly tilted outwards.

The assumption was at that time, that the combination of crooked hip bones, years of restaurant on-your-feet-all-day grunt work, and the “1 or 2” extra pounds I have carried ever since that Summer Cape Cod pizza/fried clam job I held in 1983 has led me to the “hips of an 80 year old.”

Two years ago, I had the first one replaced by Dr. David Prybyla at Saints Memorial–and checked my foot prints in the sand months later, to find one “normal” accompanied by one “duck.”  Amazing.  Since then, though I have not yet (ever!) dunked a basketball, I have had great success, and zero pain, on the right side.  And, in two hours, after they lull me into a deep sleep, this time at Lowell General Hospital, Dr. Prybyla will measure me up carefully for my new part, make a deep incision, start sawing, and removing, and digging and hammering me back on track to help me ever so slightly to try and keep up with my two staffs that keep getting younger, while maybe even breaking 90 on the golf course–the hell with basketball–legal, and walking straighter than my ball will ever fly!

You won’t hear from me for a few days…When you do, I will let you know how the food is at LGH!  (So far, the service has been impeccable!)

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